Safe Environment Fund¶
The Safe Environment Fund (SEF) is a nominally environmental research and advocacy group that buys and fences off large stretches of the woods around Radford, Virginia, protecting them with armed guards, lawyers and a professionally cleaned site.
| Type | Front organization (apparent) |
| Aliases | SEF |
| Activities | Land purchase, fencing, private security, legal intimidation |
| Key site | Safe Environment Fund fenced site |
| Status | Active (as of Radford Horrors 04); true purpose unknown |
| First appearance | Radford Horrors 02 |
Overview¶
The SEF presents itself as an environmental research group and buys woods around Radford, enclosing them with eight-foot chain-link and barbed wire wrapped in a polymer privacy screen printed "Safe Environment Fund / No trespassers." Its sites have motion-triggered "solar light" alarms, construction equipment, locked shipping containers and a locked temporary building, and are patrolled by armed security on ATVs and by lawyers who film intruders (Radford Horrors 02). The land was long held by the university and local companies, who let hikers use it, until the SEF purchases (Radford Horrors 02). The diner waitress ties the gray vans to a local "right to roam" dispute over the woods (Radford Horrors 04).
History¶
Cold open¶
The cold open of Radford Horrors 02 shows figures in blue gloves and bunny suits combing the woods in a grid while a helicopter circles. A worker holds out a blood-streaked handgun, a suited supervisor bags it, and the camera pans across a barbed-wire fence to reveal the SEF logo (Radford Horrors 02).
The standoff at the fence¶
Sheriff Molly Underhill asks the team to deal with the SEF, and also warns that "scary lawyers" threatened anyone investigating the disappearances (Radford Horrors 02). Following the missing agents' map, the team reaches the new fence, which joins an older fence matching a polygon on the map. The team reasons the new fence was added after the agents vanished. Armed guards on ATVs arrive; Daniel Webster shouts "FBI!" and is tased, Kurt fires a burst into the air, Andrew shoots a guard in the leg, and the guard shoots Andrew in the chest, but the bullet slows and stops an inch from him. A radio voice claiming to speak for the property owner orders the team off, says lawyers and emergency response are coming, and later orders the guards to stand down (Radford Horrors 02).
The lawyers follow and film the team, repeatedly asking whether it has a warrant, and refuse to comment on the smell of bleach. At the "scribble" site Kurt finds a thoroughly professional cleanup: many people trampled through, a bleach smell, dug-up ground, a tree cut down and removed that day, and luminol showing nothing at all. He scrapes pearlescent goo from a branch; see pearlescent goo. The team is escorted out and the gate is locked behind them (Radford Horrors 02).
Fallout¶
FBI Director Rudy Giuliani warns of a Bivens lawsuit over the fence incident and a possible reprimand. The tasing guard has already been fired (Radford Horrors 03). In Radford Horrors 04 Giuliani says he already has a man looking into the SEF. The team suspects the SEF is linked to the gray van crew, since the vans arrived with it, and the opalescent slime found on an SEF tree turns up again above the emporium window (Radford Horrors 04).
Unresolved¶
The episodes never establish who funds the SEF, what its locked containers and building hold, or whether it employs the gray van crew. The "scary lawyers" who threatened earlier investigators are not explicitly tied to the fund, though lawyers on the SEF site film the team and demand a warrant (Radford Horrors 02).
Trivia¶
- Dante regrets that the SEF's electric fence was "not on" during the standoff (Radford Horrors 04).
- Webster, out of character, notes that shooting the guards makes the team unlikely allies for any political conspiracy, and that nobody has mentioned Clinton, the Bushes or the Kennedys (Radford Horrors 02).