Mirabeth¶
Non-canon
Mirabeth belongs to the non-canon one-shot Philosopher's Fist 3.J/2: Unchainable, not to the main campaign.
Mirabeth is a vain, scheming 72-year-old would-be mentor with godlike beauty and legendary speed, and one of the two player characters of Philosopher's Fist 3.J/2: Unchainable. (Philosopher's Fist)
| Type | Player character (non-canon one-shot) |
| Aliases | Meribeth; Mirabel (variant spellings) |
| Affiliation | Mentor of Derk |
| Status | Alive, setting out to rescue Derk at the end of the one-shot |
| First appearance | Philosopher's Fist |
| Played by | Rita |
Description¶
Mirabeth is a glamorous old lady, "so stylin'" in Andre's words, compared by Andre and Dante to Gillian Anderson, who somehow gets hotter every year. She says "dear," "sweetie" and "ta-ta," and answers outrage with a flat "Rude." Rita played her with a single old-person voice; when Andre encouraged her to try an anime "dub voice," she said she had only the one. Mirabeth takes offense when people ask Derk "what are you?" (Philosopher's Fist)
Background¶
Rita described the concept as a lovely old lady who "was supposed to have mentored somebody and now it's embarrassing." Rita first said Mirabeth was 68 and then settled on 72. Mirabeth is a widow with two grown daughters, who now keep her grandchildren away because she was "really weird for a while" before she started looking for someone else's children to mentor. She had believed the hero "legacy" had to pass down within the family. Her daughter Anna wanted to be a ballerina and refused it, causing a big fight, and Mirabeth was thrown out of Anna's ninth birthday party. Her biggest enemy is a slightly older rival from before she became a mentor, now in a retirement home. (Philosopher's Fist)
She lives thinly on Social Security with no credit-card debt, and her mentor insurance has lapsed. Her earlier recruiting got her asked to leave places and nearly put on lists barring her from schools, "all a misunderstanding, she swears"; her godlike beauty is the only reason she is not on any. Andre suggested that she once tried to recruit Ovain in a conversation that was "a fucking disaster from top to bottom," and she has been handing business cards to other trainers' fighters at the tournament. (Philosopher's Fist)
History¶
The briefing. Mirabeth hands out cards in the briefing tent, where a weasel-man trainer hides his lizard-man protege from her. She objects loudly when Colonel Sparago asks Derk about his "breeding gorbles" and threatens to call the police. After Ovain's outburst she slaps at Mr. Cartwright twice, rolls a 4 and marks Insecure. (Philosopher's Fist)
The social. She eavesdrops on the Pure Human Martial Artists, learns that they expect the "freaks" to be shot by the Secret Service, and passes off her snooping as a lost earring. She then asks whether the president's office has any child-outreach program she can sneak Derk into, and learns of the children's flag event (The Flag Contest). After the wall jump, she lobbies her bridge-club friend by video phone, claiming Derk is 14. She covers the 400 miles to the capital by speed-walking the shoulder of I-95 in pumps behind her parasol. At the social she sells Addison the invented Oil Pyramid for a $400 down payment. (Philosopher's Fist)
The event. At security she helps Derk past the guard's wand with her beauty and never gets scanned herself. A heavyset woman monk among the deputized martial artists recognizes her, but Mirabeth rolls a 12 on Pierce the Mask and the monk lets it pass. She borrows the Detector Wand, tells the guards at the roped-off floor that the president wants "inconspicuous" heroes, and freezes them with Symbol of Authority. She works out that the skylight is the hall's weak point and stations Derk under it. When Derk prepares another jump, she raises a Divine Armor force field around herself and the Werewolf President for about thirty minutes, and the Secret Service moves them to a safe room. (Philosopher's Fist)
Aftermath. After about eighteen hours of debriefing, Mirabeth is questioned by a detective and then by Sparago, who accuses her of using "sexual wiles" on a guard and orders her out. She promises to get Derk insurance and says she hopes to see Sparago at next year's tournament ("You know that I will"). At 2 a.m. she gets Derk's call, removes her curlers, puts on makeup and sets out with her umbrella to fetch him from Wisukonshin. (Philosopher's Fist)
Relationships¶
- Derk is her recently adopted mentee. She treats him as a child (kid movie tickets, claiming he is 14) or as an adult (21 for bars) as suits her, once asking "do we know that 21 is an adult in your species?" She has never taught him numbers.
- Sparago hates her, and she trades barbs with him.
Abilities and equipment¶
Mirabeth uses Legacy-playbook abilities in a Masks-style game (see Game System): godlike beauty, legendary speed (a dignified power-walk rather than a sprint), Symbol of Authority (an order given to an NPC) and Divine Armor (limited-range force-field bubbles). Her Danger is -1. Notable rolls: Assess the Situation 7, 9, 9 and 7; Provoke Someone 10; Pierce the Mask 12 on the monk and a failed 3 on the friend call; Symbol of Authority (Savior) 8. Gear includes the parasol, business cards and curlers. (Philosopher's Fist)
Memorable quotes¶
- "You can definitely do that, dear. It's called a punch." (Rita, as Mirabeth, when Sparago asks who can channel ki)
- "You cannot question us about our genitals." (Rita, as Mirabeth)
- "Social Security in this country should really be looked at." (Rita, as Mirabeth; Andre, as Sparago: "That is literally part of the president's platform.")
Trivia¶
- Her lies mount over the session: the lost earring, claimed child-psychology credentials, the oil MLM and Derk's age.
- Dante called her parasol run "Fucking speedster Mary Poppins."