Howard and his wife¶

Howard and his wife are a very elderly Jewish couple of Radford whose old diesel sedan the task force commandeers in a McDonald's drive-thru to chase a tailing van. They get it back dented.


Type	NPC (pair)
Aliases	The elderly couple; the Jewish couple
Affiliation	None
Status	Alive (as of Radford Horror 06)
First appearance	Radford Horror 03
Played by	Andre

Description¶

The couple are very elderly. They tell Andrew how tough it is to be one of three Jewish families in the whole town (Radford Horror 03). They drive a small, old diesel sedan, which Andre describes as the "old lady Benz". Howard is practical about first aid, and his wife is quick to suggest leaving a car she does not trust.

History¶

The commandeering¶

To shake a white van that was tailing them, the team led it into a McDonald's drive-thru that wraps around the building, so that people could swap cars out of its sight. Kurt and the Biz approached the car ahead in line and claimed to be FBI. The couple only went along after Kurt showed them the scars from two Vietnam gunshot wounds in the same arm. The old woman said, "I think we should get out of the car, Howard." (Andre, as the old woman.) (Radford Horror 03) The couple were then put in the agents' other car with Andrew and Huell. The team ordered food, including two 20-piece McNuggets and Diet Cokes "dino-sized" for the Jurassic Park promotion, and the front car picked up the couple's order by mistake.

Kurt and the Biz drove the couple's diesel up the mountain after the van. It topped out at 70 mph, so they lost the van but kept its plate. The Biz tore off the rearview mirror to look up at the silent object overhead, and Kurt then hit Agent Murphy with the car (see Agent Murphy). The sedan ended up with a cracked windshield, a dented hood and no mirror (Radford Horror 03).

Waiting by the road¶

Meanwhile Andrew kept the couple company. They ate his food, though they had wanted the nuggets, and were noticeably upset about missing their lunch. Andrew asked about being Jewish in a town of Christians, and recommended meditation when they got stressed. By then the couple put the odds at about 20 percent that they had been kidnapped by lunatics. At the roadside meeting afterward, Howard took one look at Kurt's burns, wrapped him in his jacket, found ibuprofen (up to 1,600 milligrams "in a pinch"), and warned that the swelling could close his throat. The couple then drove off in their busted car (Radford Horror 03).

Later mentions¶

In Radford Horror 04, Dante suggested that one of the real FBI agents photograph the damaged car for the file (Radford Horror 04). In Radford Horror 06, when the team needed a vehicle, Andre reminded them that they had given the couple's car back, and Dante objected to the phrase "carjacked": "Commandeer is the preferred nomenclature." (Radford Horror 06)

Trivia¶

The old man's name, Howard, is also what the other agents call Andrew Howard, which led to some confusion at the table.