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CIA

The CIA (Central Intelligence Agency) is the home agency of Kurt Larson, who serves with the Paranatural Incident Task Force on loan, and the keeper of the undersea prison where the villain of the Georgia case ends up.
Type Organization (U.S. federal agency)
Aliases the Agency; Langley
Known branches and sites UTAW; Black Site Omaha
Status Active
First appearance Appalachia 01 (Kurt's CIA superior); mentioned from Radford Horror 01

Overview

The CIA reaches the story almost entirely through Kurt. He is a case officer and Vietnam veteran who was lent to the FBI's Counterterrorism Task Force, downsized from there into the paranatural unit, and expected to return to the Agency when his contract ends. He carries CIA credentials and no FBI badge ("I'm not a federal agent, by the way. I'm a hooligan"), and finds it strange to work on American soil, where people talk to him because of authority instead of money, drugs or threats. (Radford Horror 01, Radford Horror 03)

Quote

"I am not a federal agent or a traditional CIA agent." (Dante, on Kurt, Radford Horror 02)

Much of what Kurt says about the Agency is tall tale. For his own division, see UTAW.

Members and contacts

  • Kurt Larson, case officer on loan.
  • Kurt's unnamed CIA superior, a man in a black suit and a tie covered in nautilus shells, who sits silently beside him at the House subcommittee hearing on Marblehead. (Appalachia 01)
  • Carter, a former CIA fixer turned arms dealer, who by Kurt's account came up with Iran-Contra. Kurt worked with him for about five years and once saved his life; Carter repays him with the Davy Crockett. (Summer Service 04)
  • The Spud Hut counter savant, a Georgia teenager for whom Kurt arranges a CIA job. (Walkers 01)
  • A private CIA dentist. Kurt keeps special molars, each loaded with a different drug. (Radford Horror 03, Radford Horror 08)

History

Kurt's career

By his own telling, Kurt's CIA work included a plot against a Cuban dictator, despots, sewer crawling, interrogation ("Now, if I were at my old job, you would already be zip-tied to a chair, being Tabasco-boarded"), being sent to South America at no notice, and so many years abroad that in October 1992 he does not know who Bill Clinton is. He says he was legally declared dead years ago. He tells Daniel Webster it was "wet work", and that he has been shot in nearly every country. (Radford Horror 05, Radford Horror 08, Summer Service 01, Appalachia 07, Radford Horrors 02)

He knows the real psychic-spy programs of the era through the Agency, and knows of CIA and DARPA beam-weapon projects, which is why the man-portable flashlight weapon alarms him: the ones he has seen need a car full of batteries. (Radford Horror 03, Appalachia 03)

After the task force is disbanded the Agency takes him back. In early 1993 he is sent to Sri Lanka, then recalled to train American agencies at Quantico. (Roulet Estate 03)

Black Site Omaha

Unrecorded session

Jan Martense's capture happened in Appalachia 10, which was never recorded. It is known from dialogue in Walkers 01.

After the Georgia case Jan is held at Black Site Omaha, five stories under the ocean beneath a naval research base that serves as its cover. Kurt gets in past a keycode door with a gift of cigarettes for the desk guard, is cleared for four hours, and interviews Jan in a steel room with rounded furniture. He learns where the first ape woman came from: the van of a dead man carrying NSA identification. He also promises Jan a set of approved playing cards, and keeps the promise. (Walkers 01)

Reputation

Local reactions to "CIA" vary. Sheriff Frank Roosevelt notes it and bans "cowboy bullshit". Sheriff Carter Burke recognizes Kurt's "agency boy" manner. Jan, raised in East Germany, says he understands the arrangement when Kurt bluffs that the CIA must work alongside federal agents at home. An eager young local helping with the Utah case is starstruck. And the junkyard owner Yusuf Ansari is horrified. (Radford Horror 01, Appalachia 04, Appalachia 08, Walkers 05, Walkers 06)

Quote

"Not the CIA. Not again." (Andre as Yusuf, Walkers 06)

Kurt on the Agency

  • On paying an $8,000 bill: "Government's money, it's fine... Also, I'm not poor. I work for the CIA." (Radford Horror 04)
  • On keeping a drug dealer's cash: it is "how the CIA secures funding". (Radford Horror 07)
  • On guarding a body in the woods: "CIA standard procedure. Don't worry about it." (Appalachia 06)
  • On hotwiring a forklift: "I'm CIA. I'm certified for anything." (Appalachia 09)
  • On the Agency's animal programs: "I have seen tens of hundreds, if not thousands, of lines of yayo done in front of a dolphin, but it just doesn't get it." He also says "we tried to train geese to attack", and they would not. (Appalachia 09, Walkers 02)
  • On the armored bulldozer and its driver: "Now, you see, in the CIA, this is what we call an asset." (Walkers 09)
  • On his standards: "I'm CIA, and I have standards, thank you very much." (Walkers 04)

Trivia

  • "The Puzzle Palace is what the CIA calls the NSA", a detail Andre shared with the table when Kurt sent a cryptogram there. (Appalachia 07)
  • Dante's motto for the Agency: "We're CIA, not fucking CI-Lose." Andre and Dante then improved it to "Not C-I-Flunked." (Appalachia 08)
  • A running table joke holds that odd things are CIA projects and therefore classified, down to a Cheeto shaped like Charizard. (Walkers 04)
  • Kurt never votes: "conflict of interest". (Walkers 05)

Appearances

The CIA is invoked in most sessions through Kurt. Sessions where it matters to the plot: